S3 Episode 1: Finding Your Worth at the Cross

Abbey returns for season 3 and shares a painful middle school memory that shaped her self-image for years. With honesty and vulnerability, she reflects on how a single moment, and the wounds that follow, can leave a lasting impact on the way we see ourselves.

As she unpacks her story, Abbey explores a question many people wrestle with: What do we do when old hurts continue to resurface, even after we've forgiven the people involved? She discusses how painful memories can become recurring sources of insecurity and how those wounds often fuel the lies we tell ourselves about our worth, value, and identity.

Abbey shares a powerful practice that helped her begin healing: asking Jesus where He was during her most painful moments. Through scripture and reflection on Christ's suffering on the cross, she explains how Jesus understands humiliation, rejection, and heartbreak firsthand. For Abbey, the cross became a reminder that God's love reaches into our deepest wounds and offers hope, healing, and redemption.

Filled with compassion and encouragement, this episode is a reminder that healing is often a journey rather than a single moment. Whether you're carrying old memories, struggling with self-worth, or simply searching for hope, Abbey offers a message of grace: your story isn't over, your wounds don't define you, and you are more loved than you realize.

Transcript

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You're listening to The Freedom Bridge with Abby Moorhead. Each week we'll explore God's mighty abundance and how to draw near to him every day. Hi guys, welcome to season three. Oh my goodness, we made it. I can't believe I'm doing another season. This is nothing but the Lord. All glory God. And I just want to say thank you guys for listening. Thank you guys for tuning in each season. And I feel like this is gonna be like the best one yet to come. I have so many great testimonies, so many great guests coming on, and I just cannot wait for you guys to hear them all. Um, a little life update. I'm graduating from my school from Bible college with my biblical leadership. And well, I mean, I guess if all goes well, I'm gonna graduate. But my graduation is coming up. However, by the time you guys hear this, um, I will be graduating. We're just gonna speak that, okay? Like it is already done, it's already finished. I am graduating, and yeah, it's just been such an incredible journey. And three years ago, after being saved, you couldn't convince me that I would have been on stage preaching, you know, the gospel, sharing a sermon. But I had a well, not just me, my whole class. We all had to do a sermon, and yeah, it's um it's gonna be great. So I'm really excited. A little nervous, but very excited at the same time. However, this you know, the past four months, five months, the Lord has really been working on me and releasing the shame and the guilt that I've and the just rejection that I've been carrying, I not even realizing I've been carrying it. He started with showing me where my comfort was back in season two and how he's the ultimate source, he's the ultimate, you know, he is my comforter. And then he revealed to me kind of what my body was going through. It was still in an unsafe fight or flight mode, and every time that my thoughts would align with something that made me nervous, my body would just go into this search for comfort, like, hey, I don't feel safe, let's let's search for comfort, let's eat, and not even realizing that's pretty much how I've lived my life. But it wasn't until kind of slowing down these past couple months and just realizing no, this is this has been an ongoing thing, and it's also been rooted in guilt and shame and rejection. And I just want to share a little bit, um, kind of where it I don't want to say necessarily just started from, but it's a memory that pops up, and I just would love to be able to walk through it and how I've been able to heal and just surrendered this part. And what's crazy is growing up, and I you know I hate to say this, but I know a lot of us think this way, and it's not something that I've been proud of, but God looks at the heart and man looks at the image, and so when I pictured me being on stage, I pictured me being the smallest version of myself, like skinniest or smallest, whatever, whatever that looked like, and just a certain way, and thinking that that's when I would have been able to be good enough to to be on a stage and be present, not knowing that I'm actually what I'm not the heaviest I've ever been, but at a point in my life where my weight, I'm just not the happiest with it, and that's all due to me, and I have to make changes on that. But that's regardless of the point. The point is that it doesn't matter what's on the outside, it doesn't matter what's on the inside that accounts, and I think it's just so crazy how the Lord just was like, No, I'm gonna use you right where you're at, and I love you right where you're at, and I think that's such a powerful message that that's where he's at with you guys too, and he loves you right where you're at, whether it's your heaviest or your smallest or your lowest moment, maybe you're the most addicted, or maybe you you refuse to heal, or you refuse to show emotions, you ref your anger, whatever that is, he still just loves you right where you're at, and so it's such a humbling and beautiful moment to share with the Lord. But I want to share a little part of my story and my sermon with you guys. You know, when I was in middle school, I realized just how cruel people can be. And as I walked to the library, I saw that there was a very unflattering picture of myself taped to the wall, and next to it was a drawing of a cracked mirror. And not only was it there, like it was in multiple other places, and above it, it had the written words, your face is so ugly, it broke the mirror. It wasn't had it hidden, it wasn't subtle, it was right where everybody could see it. And as the bell rang, more and more students poured out into the hallways, and they were pointing, they were laughing, they were mocking me, and honestly, like I felt humiliated, I felt heartbroken, I felt exposed, and I just I wanted to disappear. And that moment didn't just hurt for a day, it actually shaped the way I viewed myself for decades, and that's really crazy to say for decades, because I carried that shame, I carried that rejection, and I carried that with me my entire basically my entire life, and it wasn't just that moment that happened, it was other moments, but I think that was kind of the breaking moment of just due to my childhood experiences, and from there it's like when I look back, I search for worth in places that it only wounded me more, and I think a lot of us can relate to that. I wonder just how many of you have felt this way. Maybe somebody betrayed you when you were really young, maybe you overheard a conversation about yourself, maybe somebody said something directly and so cruel to you, but regardless of the details, the wound is familiar. Rejection, shame, unworthiness, guilt, and these moments they don't just shape you for a day, these moments shape you more deeply than we even realize. For me, that moment replayed in my head like for years, almost daily, and it was like, why can't I get this out? What is happening? This is something that happened so long ago. The person that did it, you know, apologize. We've grown, like it's been done and over with. There's no hard feelings, but it's something that it's just resonated with me, and not only that, but all the other times, and I know that those are also tactics of the enemy trying to keep me stuck in my past, and I get that. But for those that don't get that, what do we do when life throws us those things? And then honestly, it's not gonna be the first time or the only time you felt that way, it's gonna it's gonna come at you. That's what the enemy does, and so as I wrestled with the memories and as I wrestled with the wounds, I had a friend that told me some really great advice that when you're struggling, when you're struggling with your thoughts, when you're struggling with emotions and events, ask Jesus where he was when he experienced what you're going through. When you're experiencing this pain, you're experiencing this rejection, you're experiencing this deep wound. Ask him, where were you, Lord? When I did that, he brought me to the cross and he brought me to Matthew 27, 35, 36. And that and that says, When they crucified him, they divided up his clothes by casting lots. And sitting down, they kept watch over him. Above his head, they placed the written charge against him. This is Jesus, the King of the Jews. And if you sit back and you look at that verse, you realize Jesus knows humiliation. Jesus knows what it's like to be mocked publicly, Jesus knows what it's like to have people sit, stare, make fun of you, whisper, laugh. Heck, gambling for his clothes. The ultimate, the ultimate shame in that moment. He knows what it's like to be stripped down, he knows what it's like to be exposed. That's how I felt. And I'm sure you guys can relate to that. And not only did he give up his life, he did it willingly, not because he deserved it, but because he wanted to meet us in our wounds. So the Bible is not just stories of Jesus and things that he did, and he took up our sins, he's walked through everything, the temptation, he's walked through testing, he's walked through every moment that we are going to we have gone through because he loves us that much. And when he took me to the cross, the cross just really reminded me of three things. The cross shows us God's love. The cross is the ultimate declaration that you are loved, not because you earned it, but because Jesus chose you. He loves you right where you're at. You can have messed up so much in your life that you think that you are unforgivable, you are you, you just you cannot be redeemed, your past is too bad, too hard. Um, no one's going to love you. That is a lie from the pit of hell. The cross shows is declaration that you're loved. And the second the cross breaks that power of shame. Jesus just didn't die for our sins. He carried it, he stepped into our shame, he stepped into the rejection, he stepped into the wounds. Maybe that wound is a deep hurt from your dad, maybe it's from your mom, maybe it's from your brother, your sister, your aunt, your uncle, a friend, somebody that you don't even remember their name, regardless of what of the details, like I said, Jesus stepped into that. He took the very thing that makes us feel unworthy and rejected, and he nailed them to the cross. He took it with him. And because of that, that shame, the guilt, the rejection no longer has the final word. And number three, the cross redefines our worth. The world is gonna label us, the world can reject us, wound us. The world is cruel. You and I both know that people can be very cruel, but the cross gives us a new identity. You are forgiven, you are chosen, you are valuable, you're worthy, and the one thing we crave the most, you are loved, you are loved beyond measure. The cross proves that. The cross becomes the place where the lies die and the truth begins. How beautiful is that just to sit back and realize like I was created on purpose for a purpose. Some people go through their life not realize what their purpose is, not feeling loved, not knowing Jesus, not knowing the gospel, not knowing the word of God. It's so sad. When I was got to that point place where I was trying to, like, okay, wow, I'm truly loved and I'm accepted right where I'm at. Right we're on days where I don't sit and read the Bible all day long, right where on days where I don't sit and pray. When I my my prayer is literally like, Lord, thanks for waking me up today. Days where I feel like I can handle it, I don't need anybody else. And then I realize like I struggle. And so shortly after that, it's just I I can see the pattern. I start to feel anxious and I start to feel confused on where my life is supposed to be, what I'm supposed to be doing, how I'm supposed to steward everything, and I have to take a step back and I have to return to the cross. And I want to give you three things to help you believe what the cross represents. I want you to bring those wounds to Jesus instead of hiding it, instead of pretending like you have it together and that it doesn't bother you anymore, instead of pretending that it doesn't hurt. I want you to go to Jesus and I want you to say, Jesus, this still hurts me. This lives rent-free in my head. Show me where you were when I experienced this. Where were you in this moment? Healing begins when we invite Jesus into that memory, when we invite Jesus into the wound, when we open our heart to receiving healing. Because every wound carries a lie. That cracked mirror that I seen next to my picture, it told me I wasn't enough. It told me I was ugly, it told me I was fat, it told me I was unlovable, it told me I wasn't good enough. But the cross speaks louder truth. The cross says, no, you were worth dying for. You are worthy. You are loved. You are forgiven. You have never been alone this entire time. When we choose to let the truth of the we choose to let the truth of the cross override the lie of the wound, that's when you're gonna start to realize and start to heal. Speaking that truth over yourself. You're not unlovable, you're not unforgivable, you're not you're not unworthy, you're not ugly, you're not fat, you're not a failure, you're like all those things. You're not that. That is lies of rejection, of shame, and guilt can look like man, I keep maybe eating this food, or like, man, I'm never gonna lose weight, I'm always gonna be fat, or man, I keep failing because I keep picking up the alcohol bottle, or I'm gonna I'm that's all I'm ever gonna be is a drunk. That's all I'm ever gonna be is poor. That's all I'm ever gonna be is struggling. No, that's what guilt says. Guilt says gives you something, um, tells you a lie off of like your actions or like what you're doing. That's nothing but a lie from the pit of hill. And number three, I want you to return to the cross daily. I want you to pray daily because healing is not a one-time thing. It's forgiveness is not a one-time thing, it's a rhythm, it's a constant, I forgive you. It's a constant, I forgive myself. It's a constant, Lord, help me. Every day, pause and remember, my worth was settled at the cross. Who I am was settled at the cross. When shame rises, return to the cross. When the wound, when the old memories resurface of that pain, return to the cross. Capture that thought. When insecurity whispers, return to the cross. The cross is the anchor of our identity. The cross is not just where Jesus died, it's where he rewrote our stories. And even in that cracked mirror, that image where I saw myself a million different times. He the Lord said, I was still made in his image. I was still loved, I was still chosen, and I was still worth dying for. Jesus didn't just save me from my shame, that my rejection of my guilt and the unworthiness. He stepped into it and he felt it, he carried it, and he redeemed it. You are not too broken to be fixed. You are not too broken to be loved. You are not too far gone for the Lord to use you. And what I've come to find out, man, the worse your story is, the better the Lord is going to work. I think, I mean, not just saying like, oh, you have to have a bad story for the Lord, you know, to do miraculous things. No. But it's like when you've been hurt so much and when you've carried so much guilt and shame your whole life, and then the Lord frees you from it, it's like the biggest weight lifted off of you. It's just so beautiful. And yeah, I can come back because even and I remember when I went through my deliverance, and we went back to this memory, and I sat and asked Jesus where he was, and he was right there. He literally had his arms wrapped around me, hugging me, protecting me. And it's like he gave me eyes to see the person that did it, and he's like, I could see their wounds, I could see what they were carrying, and it was just so easy to just extend forgiveness because it's never the person, it's the spirit that's in them that is hurting them, that is allowing them to make these decisions. And it's like truly like that person, they truly have the biggest heart. And a lot of the people that just wound and that do cruel things, and uh they're just hurting. They're just hurting. And they are so lovable and they're so worthy of good things. And I just pray that anybody hearing this, maybe this resonated with you. Maybe and I and I pray that you would just sit back and take a hold of those thoughts and capture those thoughts and bring them to Jesus and ask Jesus, what is this about? Maybe you have a relationship with Jesus, maybe you know of him, maybe you don't know of him, but regardless, Jesus wants a relationship with you, and he wants to heal you from all those unwanted memories, all those, all the pain, and he wants to give you back the years that the guilt and shame has stolen from your life, years that you've lived in just insecurities, years that you've lived in unworthiness, years that you've lived feel that you weren't good enough. The Lord wants to restore that and give that back to you. And so my prayer today for you is just that you would just your heart would be open to receiving his love, your heart would be opened to just, you know what, what is this about? What is the Lord about? What is Jesus about? Get off of the internet, get off of whoever is like influence you, pick up a Bible and just ask him, where are you? What are who are you? And that your heart would be open, your mind would be open to healing and receiving his love. Guys, I um thank you so much for listening. I pray that this resonates with you. Again, you guys can always send me messages, you guys can subscribe to my podcast, and every little bit helps uh to be able to keep doing these, keep doing these episodes. And um, the more I can do these episodes, the more I can step away from um my job at Texas Roadhouse as a server and um and just kind of be more present and just give back more. So I just I thank you for your support. I thank you for watching, and um, I can't wait to share more of what season three is about. I love you guys and go out there and please the kingdom. Bye.